Many Western marriages now end in divorce. That trend may keep many a divorce attorney employed, but newlyweds often find it worrisome to see this trend become more and more prevalent. However, if you continually work on your marriage, you can ensure that your union not only endures, but remains a source of joy. The following advice can help.
Keep Lines of Communication Open
Always hash out your problems. Never refuse to speak out of spite, and never ignore annoying things your partner does in the belief that he or she will eventually stop doing them. When people refuse to share concerns, small issues fester and become large ones. By contrast, when two people discuss issues openly, big problems can be cut down to size and resolved quickly. Communication is the best way to keep a marriage working and honest.
Togetherness Is Key
Spend plenty of quality time together. That might mean hiring a babysitter some Saturday nights for dinner and dancing. Or it might mean snuggling in front of the fire every now and then. Additionally, try to find activities to do together like biking or jigsaw puzzles. Just something that you both enjoy.
Being Apart Is Also Key
It’s healthy for married people to maintain separate interests, and to occasionally go out with friends, sans husband or wife, for an evening or weekend. When married individuals are apart every now and then, they usually appreciate each others company all the more.
Pay Attention to the Other Person
This tip explains itself. Whether your spouse is discussing a health-related worry, or a favorite TV show, listen intently and offer appropriate feedback; don’t mentally drift in a conversation. If kids are in the mix, make sure you are both invested in listening to their problems and coming to solutions together. You don’t want a child coming to one parent who always let them get their way. Stay together on rules and discipline. If you find you are both different in approaches to parenting, you might want to talk to close friends or even a professional child support lawyer for ideas on how to parent together.
Set Rules for Arguments
Arguing often represents a healthy, if intense, exchange of ideas. Even so, set rules for arguing. Avoid insults and don’t dredge up past conflicts or unrelated issues. Try not to whine, and certainly don’t raise your voice. If your partner makes a fair point, concede it — there’s no shame in “losing” a marital disagreement. And if the situation gets a little heated, apologize promptly.
Surprise your Spouse with Kind Acts
Whether you show up at her office with a tuna sub, or serenade him with a guitar solo on his birthday, unexpected acts of kindness strengthen bonds, and forge lasting memories. Take risks together and share your dreams, fears and ideas for the future with your partner. Being kind and trusting in one another can help you make a lasting marriage.
Say Thank You and I Love You Frequently
Don’t just recite these words and parrot them out. Mean these phrases each time you say them, and speak them with emotion. Always be courteous to your spouse and use the golden rule by treating them how you wish to be treated.